THE HAPPY FREE LITTLE BEE SAID: “IT’S ABOUT WE… NOT ME”!

Jacob is a 17-year-old high school student who studies frequently after school. He is preparing for his midterm exams.

After school, he eats and goes straight to his room to study. He is an Honour of Distinction student and has the habits of a successful person. He has self-discipline and is very driven to succeed in life. Through his hard work, he inevitably earns one of the highest marks on his exams. Jacob feels happy but stays humble about his astounding marks.

Peter is in the same classes as Jacob. Peter does not study much and spends most of his time hanging out with friends. He is frequently on his cell phone and sleeps in class. He has no drive or motivation to study.
Peter brings a cheat sheet to his exams and passes with a perfect score.

Peter is very happy and brags to everyone that he got a perfect score. He feels he deserves the Honour of Distinction award, even though Jacob has had the best marks in the class for the last six months.

What is the difference in this situation? It is obvious that Jacob has more justified entitlement to his marks compared to Peter.

This is a classic case of correct and justified entitlement shown by Jacob, compared to Peter, who displays unhealthy entitlement.

What exactly is entitlement?

A sense of entitlement is when someone believes they are more deserving or better than others and therefore should receive special treatment.

Entitlement can be a good thing when it comes to being respected, looking after your own needs, and wanting to feel special and unique. But if someone wants more special treatment than others, then it is no
longer considered a healthy sense of entitlement.

WE ALL HAVE OUR OPINIONS
Your voice is important, but so are the voices of others. We must be willing to listen to and understand people’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions just as much as we want to be heard ourselves. Never think that you are always right and others are always wrong. That is unhealthy entitlement.

NEVER HURT OTHERS
Never hurt people if things do not go your way or if they do not do something you ask for.

In life, things do not always go our way, but we should never take our frustrations out on others. Understand that it is okay if things do not happen the way we want them to.

Everyone has a right to say no. Once you accept that, you can focus on doing it yourself. Asking someone nicely and tactfully will get a much better response than yelling at them.

SENSE OF SUPERIORITY
Never feel that you are etter than anyone else or that you deserve more than people you believe are beneath you.

The truth is that we are not better or worse than anyone. We all have our own gifts and talents. Everyone should be accepted as an individual. We are all unique, and the best thing we can do is just be you without comparing yourself to others.

Having a sense of entitlement often shows little care for others and focuses only on oneself. As I stated earlier, taking care of ourselves, practicing self-love, and accepting ourselves are all good things.

Showing no care or concern for anyone else but yourself is not good. Everyone in this world matters. People deserve to be loved and cared for. Showing empathy, kindness, appreciation, and making someone feel special are some of the most beautiful things you can do for another person. God will bless you in so many ways.

You are important, and so are your needs. But so is every other person in this world.

Just because someone is successful…

Being successful is wonderful. But never feel that you deserve more admiration or should always be the centre of attention because of your accomplishments. Even if another person may not be as ccomplished,
they still deserve the same kindness and respect. Never push them aside. Never make them feel worthless or like a waste of space.

Help others succeed. Encourage them. Inspire them. But never compare yourself to them. You are a champion, so please help others because they are champions too.

A sense of entitlement and coasting through life.

I am a firm believer that in life, if you want something, you must get it the old-fashioned way. You must earn it!

Nothing should simply be handed to us. We must work hard for what we want. We must put in the effort despite the challenges we face in order to achieve victory. This is justified entitlement that is truly deserved. Being kind and humble along the way adds the cherry on top of the entitled ice cream you deserve to enjoy.

Giving your children necessities such as clothes, school books, birthday gifts, and Christmas presents is perfectly acceptable, and I fully support that. But if you constantly give children everything they want, they may begin to expect it all the time.

Whether they realize it or not, they begin to believe they can do nothing and still receive everything they want. And if they do not get what they want, they may throw tantrums, yell, and scream.

By doing this repeatedly, they may grow up believing that everything should simply be handed to them without effort. Then, when life does not go their way, they become angry and frustrated.

Teaching children to complete simple tasks at a young age, such as studying for good grades, keeping their room clean, and helping with small chores, teaches them that in order to get something, they must earn it.

BLAMING OTHERS
If you make mistakes in life, own up to them and hold yourself accountable. Never blame others for your shortcomings. Once you acknowledge your mistakes, you can learn, grow, and become a better person.

The way I see it, the world does not revolve around us. It is not always about “me, me, me.” Nobody owes us anything, and people do not have to behave a certain way to meet our standards and expectations. There are over 7.7 billion people in the world, and many are disadvantaged. So my beautiful friends, continue being your best selves. Keep doing great things. Look after your own needs but also be considerate and kind toward the needs of others.

If we all work collectively together and treat each other with respect and courtesy, then we can all live better, healthier, and happier lives.

The post What Exactly is Entitlement? appeared first on Biz X magazine.

Congratulations! You Scored A GOAL!

Goals, goals, goals!

Let’s think about this for a second folks. Without goals, how can we look forward to something? How can we feel that immense great feeling once we have achieved it? How can we feel like “YEAH I DID IT?”

I mean once you reach your goals, you feel like Rocky Balboa running up the Philadelphia steps and raising your arms in victory.

The talented actor Denzel Washington said: “Dreams without goals are just dreams and they ultimately fuel disappointment.”

What are goals? Goals are something you want to achieve and accomplish in the future. A desired result.

Goals give our lives so much meaning and purpose. They give you focus and direction and a clear path to where you are heading. They give you motivation and you start to develop progress and movement. Whatever you want to do in your life, you have to set some goals.

The first question you want to ask yourself is: what do you want to do?

What is it you want to accomplish? Where do you see yourself in your life?

This is called your VISION. Once you have a clear idea of what you want to do, then here comes the GOALS.

Start with a short-term goal. A short-term goal is something you want to reach in a short time like a week, a month or under a year. You can’t just start from the beginning and jump to the end. There is gradual progress to get there. But consistency, hard work, self-discipline, passion, and an optimistic outlook will get you there. Short term goals, in my humble opinion, are like stepping-stones that ultimately lead you to your long-term goals, which are your vision of where you want to be.

Some people avoid goals because of their fear of failing. You will fail and fail big, but that does not make you a failure.

Failing and success are your best friends, because to succeed we must go in loops and U-turns and heavy traffic. These are lessons of learning and growing that fuel success. This is what failing teaches us.

On the other hand, failure is when you give up too easily and decide not to try again. Remember, success is not an easy one-way ticket to paradise. Reaching your goals and subsequent goals will always have
some type of obstacles in the way.

If you are afraid to reach your goals, remember that fear is useless unless it drives you. Use your imagination for a second.

Let’s say you are on one side, and in the middle is a big, scary monster named MR. FEAR. At the other end of the side is your GOAL. If you are afraid, then you will be stagnant and come up with things like: what
if this happens or what if that happens.

If you are afraid and give it a try you are approaching the middle and then you start to get anxious the closer you get to MR. FEAR, then you go back to the starting line.

 Now here is the kicker. In reality, you are standing on one side, and the other side is your goal, which is realistically attainable. But guess what? In the middle, nothing is there. MR. FEAR is not really there . . . so you are free to GO FOR IT. You are creating the monster MR. FEAR in your mind and if MR. FEAR is not challenged, you will remain at the start for a long time.

After goals, then comes the STRATEGIC PLANNING. 

Having a vision and a goal is great, but without a plan you lose direction. Planning is basically writing down what you are going to do to reach your goals for the short term and long term. It is like a coach for a football team going to the drawing board and showing the players the plan they need to follow in order to win.

Now the most important part of reaching your goals is MASSIVE ACTION. The reason this is the most important is because without action, you will not reach your desired destination. It is that simple.
When you have a clear vision, an attainable goal, and a great plan and you put in the work, then you are on your way to SUCCESS!

Let’s look at the five rules for setting a goal (THE SMART GOALS RULE):

Specific Goals- You must have a goal that is specific. A specific goal gives you a clear direction of where you are heading. For example, maybe you want to run a marathon, or maybe you want to become a
happier person, or maybe you want to lose 10 pounds etc.

Measurable Goals- Basically, keep precise track of small achievements along the way that leads you to your bigger goals. I suggest you keep a journal on hand to track these small achievements

Attainable Goals- Reaching an attainable goal is what you should aspire to do, but don’t make it too easy for yourself. The point is to work hard for your goals that are attainable. The feeling in the end, once you reach it that way, will be more gratification for you…It is about raising the bar and your level of expectations that will make it worth it in the end.

Relevant Goals- Goals need to be important to the journey you are heading toward. How important is this goal to you? The reward and celebration at the end should motivate you enough to reach your goals. It should keep you on track and help you keep making good progress to reach it. If you feel that the goal is not important, then I strongly believe you are wasting your precious time, and you should try something else. You must feel that passion and excitement about getting there.

Time-bound Goals– Setting a deadline gives you more initiative to take action and work hard. It gives you a certain amount of time to achieve it, and you will not procrastinate. But remember not to stress yourself out. Work hard but simultaneously have fun!

Well, there you have it, my friend, this is the moment that will shape your destiny.

This is the moment you must say to yourself: “I CAN DO THIS! I WILL DO THIS! I MUST DO THIS!

And one day you will stand on top of that mountain and scream loud for all to hear: “I DID IT”!

The post Congratulations! You Scored A GOAL! appeared first on Biz X magazine.

Go Past The Past

When I think of the past, I think of something that once was. It is something that was once a memory, but no longer exists. It is like a candle that has been extinguished long ago. I always knew that there was no future in looking at the past.

I look back at things in my life and what I have learned is that life keeps going. The world keeps evolving and it does not stop for anyone.

So, let us go with the flow and move forward with life.

We must not waste a single day looking back at the past. Why would you want to hang on to painful memories that have a negative impact on your mental and physical health?

Your happiness and wellness should be your priority. Do not waste a single second thinking about your bad memories. These are the bad memories that want to keep you in the past.

Now, it is your time to manifest new beautiful memories. When something terrible happens in the past, we learn from that experience so it will guide us in the future. I am telling you, there will be better things that will come along your way.

However, you must take that courageous step and say: “YES! I want to let go of the past” and “I want to move forward.”

When you keep reminiscing, then you are trying to injure a wound that wants to heal and will cause you more distress. So, make that decision and make room for new opportunities that will come your way in life such as new jobs, new friends, and new relationships.

Embrace it and be excited for new things coming your way. Let go of blaming others that they should be this way.

Nobody owes us anything; and most of all do not play the victim, because wasting your time trying to get sympathy from others and dwelling on it, will take away each second from your time for creating visions, dreams, and goals.

Accept what has happened and free yourself from these chains. Focus on the here and now. What are you doing today that needs to be done? Never hold on to toxic relationships that serve you no purpose. If someone is meant to be in your life, they will. If they are not, then let them go and leave them in the past as someone you once knew.

Forgiveness is such an important factor in letting go. Forgive yourself and the situation that has happened. Accept that the situation is over. This means, to not look back. Just keep making progress in every area and aspect of your life.

Now, I want you to say this. “Okay, you know what? This has happened and these are the facts. Now, what am I going to do? Am I going to sit there and wonder why this happened and let my life pass me by? Or, am I going to get up and say I am stronger, wiser, and better than my past? I have learned a valuable lesson that I will now take into the next chapter of my life.”

I do not know what happened to you in the past, but I do know you are stronger than you think and you can handle any situation that comes your way.

Let it go. Your time on this earth is too important to be thinking about bad things that have happened to you.

In the end, all that truly matters is the productive and beautiful life you live. And that is a choice you have, my friend.

God bless you and never give up.

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Raising Your Standards And Expectations

Life has given us a platform. How we live is entirely up to us.

It has provided us with the freedom to chase our dreams. But are we chasing our dreams or “should” we chase our dreams?

When you tell yourself “I should” do this or “I should” do that, then you are giving yourself 50 percent chance of getting it done. Your mindset is not quite there. There is no urgency and you are not eager or overzealous to get it done. It is not as important to you and you kind of have a thought about it and eventually let it slip away.

Now, let’s look at the other side of the coin.

When you tell yourself “I MUST” get this done, now you are telling yourself that you have to do whatever it takes to do it. It becomes a certainty for you. You become more confident and more than likely to
step out of your comfort zone.

You are deciding for yourself and not others that you are ready to take the next step higher to achieve whatever it is you want. You are making that decision to change your life and raise your standards. You are creating a shift change in your life to end a limiting belief you had.

Remember, your mind will believe whatever you want it to believe. Whatever you believe will become your reality. With that being said, if you think you can or can’t, that will decide if you move or stop.
If you want to succeed in anything you do in life, then YOU MUST do it. That is it, and as simple as it gets. The word “should” is not an option when you want something bad enough. And if you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it done.

Never label or identify yourself as someone who can’t do anything because you have a mood or anxiety disorder. You are creating a limiting belief about yourself and why you can’t do whatever you want
because you have this or that. And unless you change that belief, you will remain stagnant.
Let me ask you something . . . why do you brush your teeth? Why do you take a shower? It is because it is a must for you. You want to have a clean body and have nice teeth, right?

So, now let’s say you want to lose weight. Then exercise should be a must in your routine just like brushing your teeth. If you want to be happier, then making progress and taking the right steps to become happier should be a must part of your routine. If you want to be financially secure, then you must work hard to make it possible.

Do you see what I’m saying? You “must” make that time of day, whatever it is and you must incorporate it into your day. I get up at 6 a.m. every morning just to lift weights before work. I do not care if it is cold, too hot in my garage, or if I’m too sleepy. It’s because I love it, it makes me feel good, and it brings amazing changes to my body. So, what is it that you believe is so unrealistic for you that it can’t be done? If you want to make any progress in your life, whether it is battling depression, anxiety, or being successful, then you have no choice but to do it.

It is time to set your standards high, step outside of the box, and do the things that you thought were impossible to do. You are no longer going to stay comfortable and say, “I should do this” That day is today. It might be uncomfortable at first, but the result will be worth it. I was not living my life to its fullest, but it was not until I finally woke up and made that decision to set my standards and expectations high that I was able to overcome my obstacles and give back. I have even started writing a book.

So, by shifting the way I think and turning my “should” into “must,” I can live my life openly, freely, and be able to achieve anything I want. And you are going to do the same.

God bless you and never give up.

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Declutter Your Mind By Decluttering What You Don’t Need

Having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for most of my life was a struggle for me. It was not easy. But I am a fighter and I was able to finally take control of it.

In addition to my obsessions and compulsions, a big part of my OCD had to do with hoarding — keeping things that I over-exaggerated the importance of.

You see, everyone with OCD has different compulsions and obsessions. But we all share one thing in common; it consumes us and steals a part of our life, especially if not controlled.

Here is my hoarding story. . .

My hoarding was based upon feeling something is needed and I would feel emotionally naked without it. I would feel I needed to complete it and make it full.

I was in college, while working part time at a clothing store called Winners. I wanted to make enough money so I could basically spend it all on materialistic things. What can I say; I was a young 18 year old kid? I was ordering pizza. I would go out with friends, go to movies, frequent dating and so on.

Although I was battling with OCD, such as doing my compulsions of tapping, saying a word a number of times to make it sound exact, checking, washing, counting out loud, putting Lysol wipes on my body, working with numbers in my mind, avoiding numbers I thought were bad, and using numbers I thought were good.

Writing this is exhausting. Imagine living through it. Okay, back to the story.

I thought spending money could take away the stress I was going through with OCD, but it made it worse. I remember in 1998, after I earning my first paycheque, I went to the Sony store that they once had at a plaza on Tecumseh Road East and I bought my first huge Sony Bulky Stereo. I remember hooking it up in my room and I felt great.

But, as the days went by, all I could think about was that 27 inch Sony TV that would look perfect with it. So, now I am saving up to buy that TV. Then my mind said it would not be complete without a DVD player.

In 1998, DVDs were the new hot items. I thought to myself, I needed that DVD player and I bought that DVD player. I must admit, I was okay for a bit, until my mind started saying — why buy a DVD player when you don’t have any DVDs? AHHHHH. I started to feel overwhelmed.

Now I had to buy DVDs. I had no idea at the time that OCD played a big part in this. When I would buy DVDs, I would buy every popular one to start my collection. I reached about 200 DVDs within a month or so. In my mind, I felt I needed to buy three of each because having three of three of the same DVD movies are more of a complete look. It makes it look full. Plus, at the time, three was my favourite lucky number.

For example, let’s say I bought a Rocky DVD box set. I had to buy two more of that Rocky Box Set .The money could have been used to buy food or something that’s an essential, but nope…. I bought three of them.

My DVDs then started adding up to three of the same movies every Tuesday, when they would come out at Best Buy. My money was going as fast as it took me to earn it from Winners and my parents’ business.
Following my DVD hoarding, other things I would buy had to be bought in threes. Good news is I did not buy nine of everything because years later my good number was nine. And good thing then I was not into DVDs, because I was struggling through my panic attacks, which are not a good thing. You see, when one part of OCD ends another thing comes up. It never stopped.

After my ritual of DVDs, I remember reading something important to me in the newspaper. I thought I would keep it and read it for later. Then another paper came to our door and I found something to keep because I thought it resonated with me. I now started collecting newspapers.

I thought I needed it because it was important and related to my life, such as a headline. We ended up having boxes of newspapers in our basement.

My parents, who were from India, did not know why I needed them. I told them it was important. I subsequently started collecting scraps of pieces of papers. Yes, scraps of papers. I thought they were part of the newspapers, so I would put it in my boxed collection of papers.

When everything started to become full, my family had enough. It was apparent that I had to put everything in storage. Now I had to pay every month for boxes of newspapers that cost me a little over $100 a month for things that were useless. On top of that, I was collecting more and more newspapers and adding them to my storage. I honestly felt I was losing my mind.

Truth is, all the stuff that I read in the paper that I thought was “IMPORTANT” and related to me, was the stuff I could not even remember. So how could it be so important? If it was, I would remember every single detail about that paper I kept.

It came to a point that I just could not do it anymore. I was stressed. I could not concentrate on my classes and my work and now putting a quarter of my pay cheque towards a storage unit. Just as much as my storage and room used to be cluttered, so was my mind. I wanted to simplify my life and start living more peacefully.

I thought I would eventually be hospitalized. I did not want that. I shifted the way I thought and once I assessed my situation fully and noticed I could not find one benefit from hoarding, I made a decision to get rid of everything. All the boxes and boxes of newspaper scraps I collected were recycled.

Although I kept the DVDs (which were also in the storage) I only kept the ones I liked and sold the other copies in bulk. I did feel better. As I was recycling everything, including the clutter, the clutter in my mind was simultaneously being discarded.

My advice is: if you don’t use it or need it, then get rid of it. Buy things that are essential in your life. Save your money. Nothing in this world will go with us when we are gone. It stays on Earth.

Live simply, you will feel so much better and less overwhelmed. Only have things that are truly important and sentimental. Like cards, or gifts from someone you love. You don’t have to over-fill your house to make it complete.

Our minds play tricks on us and we must be aware of this.

Twenty-four years later I am writing this and doing very well in my life — and financially. I focus on the things I need, not want. I ask myself, is anything going with me when I pass away? NO. I tell myself, I don’t need all this stuff to make my life full and complete and to fill a void that makes me feel emotionally naked.

Having a complete life to me is the way I live today. And that is simply and happily with balance and stability.

Now that to me is important, full and complete, and I don’t think I will ever discard that.
LIVE SIMPLY MY CHAMPS.

God bless you, never give up.

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