Declutter Your Mind By Decluttering What You Don’t Need
Having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for most of my life was a struggle for me. It was not easy. But I am a fighter and I was able to finally take control of it.
In addition to my obsessions and compulsions, a big part of my OCD had to do with hoarding — keeping things that I over-exaggerated the importance of.
You see, everyone with OCD has different compulsions and obsessions. But we all share one thing in common; it consumes us and steals a part of our life, especially if not controlled.
Here is my hoarding story. . .
My hoarding was based upon feeling something is needed and I would feel emotionally naked without it. I would feel I needed to complete it and make it full.
I was in college, while working part time at a clothing store called Winners. I wanted to make enough money so I could basically spend it all on materialistic things. What can I say; I was a young 18 year old kid? I was ordering pizza. I would go out with friends, go to movies, frequent dating and so on.
Although I was battling with OCD, such as doing my compulsions of tapping, saying a word a number of times to make it sound exact, checking, washing, counting out loud, putting Lysol wipes on my body, working with numbers in my mind, avoiding numbers I thought were bad, and using numbers I thought were good.
Writing this is exhausting. Imagine living through it. Okay, back to the story.
I thought spending money could take away the stress I was going through with OCD, but it made it worse. I remember in 1998, after I earning my first paycheque, I went to the Sony store that they once had at a plaza on Tecumseh Road East and I bought my first huge Sony Bulky Stereo. I remember hooking it up in my room and I felt great.
But, as the days went by, all I could think about was that 27 inch Sony TV that would look perfect with it. So, now I am saving up to buy that TV. Then my mind said it would not be complete without a DVD player.
In 1998, DVDs were the new hot items. I thought to myself, I needed that DVD player and I bought that DVD player. I must admit, I was okay for a bit, until my mind started saying — why buy a DVD player when you don’t have any DVDs? AHHHHH. I started to feel overwhelmed.
Now I had to buy DVDs. I had no idea at the time that OCD played a big part in this. When I would buy DVDs, I would buy every popular one to start my collection. I reached about 200 DVDs within a month or so. In my mind, I felt I needed to buy three of each because having three of three of the same DVD movies are more of a complete look. It makes it look full. Plus, at the time, three was my favourite lucky number.
For example, let’s say I bought a Rocky DVD box set. I had to buy two more of that Rocky Box Set .The money could have been used to buy food or something that’s an essential, but nope…. I bought three of them.
My DVDs then started adding up to three of the same movies every Tuesday, when they would come out at Best Buy. My money was going as fast as it took me to earn it from Winners and my parents’ business.
Following my DVD hoarding, other things I would buy had to be bought in threes. Good news is I did not buy nine of everything because years later my good number was nine. And good thing then I was not into DVDs, because I was struggling through my panic attacks, which are not a good thing. You see, when one part of OCD ends another thing comes up. It never stopped.
After my ritual of DVDs, I remember reading something important to me in the newspaper. I thought I would keep it and read it for later. Then another paper came to our door and I found something to keep because I thought it resonated with me. I now started collecting newspapers.
I thought I needed it because it was important and related to my life, such as a headline. We ended up having boxes of newspapers in our basement.
My parents, who were from India, did not know why I needed them. I told them it was important. I subsequently started collecting scraps of pieces of papers. Yes, scraps of papers. I thought they were part of the newspapers, so I would put it in my boxed collection of papers.
When everything started to become full, my family had enough. It was apparent that I had to put everything in storage. Now I had to pay every month for boxes of newspapers that cost me a little over $100 a month for things that were useless. On top of that, I was collecting more and more newspapers and adding them to my storage. I honestly felt I was losing my mind.
Truth is, all the stuff that I read in the paper that I thought was “IMPORTANT” and related to me, was the stuff I could not even remember. So how could it be so important? If it was, I would remember every single detail about that paper I kept.
It came to a point that I just could not do it anymore. I was stressed. I could not concentrate on my classes and my work and now putting a quarter of my pay cheque towards a storage unit. Just as much as my storage and room used to be cluttered, so was my mind. I wanted to simplify my life and start living more peacefully.
I thought I would eventually be hospitalized. I did not want that. I shifted the way I thought and once I assessed my situation fully and noticed I could not find one benefit from hoarding, I made a decision to get rid of everything. All the boxes and boxes of newspaper scraps I collected were recycled.
Although I kept the DVDs (which were also in the storage) I only kept the ones I liked and sold the other copies in bulk. I did feel better. As I was recycling everything, including the clutter, the clutter in my mind was simultaneously being discarded.
My advice is: if you don’t use it or need it, then get rid of it. Buy things that are essential in your life. Save your money. Nothing in this world will go with us when we are gone. It stays on Earth.
Live simply, you will feel so much better and less overwhelmed. Only have things that are truly important and sentimental. Like cards, or gifts from someone you love. You don’t have to over-fill your house to make it complete.
Our minds play tricks on us and we must be aware of this.
Twenty-four years later I am writing this and doing very well in my life — and financially. I focus on the things I need, not want. I ask myself, is anything going with me when I pass away? NO. I tell myself, I don’t need all this stuff to make my life full and complete and to fill a void that makes me feel emotionally naked.
Having a complete life to me is the way I live today. And that is simply and happily with balance and stability.
Now that to me is important, full and complete, and I don’t think I will ever discard that.
LIVE SIMPLY MY CHAMPS.
God bless you, never give up.
